How do narcissists treat pets?
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Although my ex was never officially diagnosed as a narcissist, he displayed many narcissistic traits.
Whenever my dog would approach us, he treated her as if she were an object. He would turn his back or quickly pat her head to dismiss her.
There were instances when I could sense his jealousy towards my dog. If I cuddled with her, he would enter the room abruptly and position himself between us. Sometimes, while playing with her, I would notice him glaring at us with anger-filled eyes before stating something like, “Why aren’t you spending this time with just me, Codi… we need to go, now.” He would then make me leave, diverting my attention solely to him.
But what struck me the most was how my dog reacted to him.
Right from the beginning, she never liked him. Even when we first met and he presented himself as someone he ultimately turned out not to be, she sensed it.
On one occasion, when he came to pick me up, my dog darted out of the front door. I stepped out of the car to retrieve her, but my ex insisted, “Get back in the car, I’ll get her back in.”
His body language and scowling face betrayed his anger. He approached her while she wagged her tail, assuming her playful stance with her rear up and head lowered, as if inviting him to chase her. It was almost as if she was saying, “Try to catch me.” And she knew it bothered him!
Every time he drew near, she would sprint in another direction, then resume her playful pose, waiting for him to approach again. She began galloping and spinning around him, while he roared and screamed in frustration, sprinting as fast as he could to catch her. From the car, I laughed uncontrollably. He was furious, and she reveled in the fact that she was getting under his skin. She genuinely disliked him, and this was her way of showing it, like a playful goof.
She knew all along that he wasn’t a good person!
When my dog grew old and was diagnosed with heart failure, I was devastated. I spent a lot of time at my parent’s house to be with her. This angered my ex. On the night before we had to put her down, I was a mess. As we drove to his friend’s house, I would cry randomly, unable to control my emotions. Suddenly, he screamed and pulled the car over. Turning to me, he shouted, “It’s just a stupid dog!!! And I am your husband!!! Dogs die, you need to get over it! I’m sick of you crying about this, just drop it! Cheer up and be happy; it’s not the end of the world. And you’re making me feel like I don’t matter. I am your husband, Codi!! The dog is not your husband, so stop acting like it!”
Afterward, he resumed driving to his friend’s house, and I had to suppress my tears.
The following night, I stayed at my parent’s house with my dog, and he was livid with me.
Months later, during an argument, he brought up that he was the best husband and had nothing to improve upon. He used the fact that he allowed me to spend my dog’s last day with her as a selfless act, holding it over my head for an extended period.
So, based on my experience, if my ex displayed such behavior toward my dog, it is likely that a true narcissist would be even more callous.